I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
