i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
