My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
