Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
