p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
