Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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