i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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