the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
