I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
