so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
