ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
