Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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