He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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