Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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