That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
