he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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