So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
