He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
