My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
