why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
