he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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