I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
