Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
