so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
