Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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