You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Randomize
