____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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