Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm always down for nudity.
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