i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
