Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
