Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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