I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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