I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
