We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
