Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
