oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
