if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Actions speak louder than pants.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
