As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
