So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
