If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
