Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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