That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
