so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
