I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
