do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Enjoy the penises
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
