don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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