My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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