Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
BRING THE BAGELS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
