alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
