you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
