If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
