Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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