My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
