The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
thus making me awesome and them whores
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
